Messages of Love

If Learning More ‘Skills’ Isn’t the Answer, What Is?”

The future of love lies with those who are comfortable with commitment and their heart needs.

Why Smart, Loving Men Listen to Their Woman’s Feelingse

The key to creating new, secure relationship patterns is to understand how your brain seeks safety.

How Lasting Couples Give Voice to Their Love

In a wide ranging interview, I discuss the secrets that all secure couples use to go from mediocre to extraordinary.

Going From the ‘War’ to a We

Creating a Lasting Love

Perhaps you don’t feel like a couple in love anymore. Maybe your heart aches because of the constant fights or distancing moves. Each day seems as if you feel more hopeless, frustrated or angry with each other. Or perhaps, something just seems missing from the sizzle you once felt when each other walked in the room. Over the years, you may have visited several marriage therapists or coaches, yet…
There’s a sense that nothing ever seems to work. You both seem stuck in dueling patterns that neither of you can change. The 50% divorce rate scares you. That is, when you aren’t afraid of staying in an unhealthy relationship. You’re weary of having a disappointed, upset partner beside you at night. Deep down you know love was meant to be more than this. Some part of you just wants to give and receive the love you both deserve and once dreamed about.

To get beyond the stalemate or conflict, you will need a guide to help you uncover what’s really undermining your relationship. My transformational work is different from traditional couple therapy. It’s a deep dive beyond the usual telling of partner stories that happens in a lot of therapeutic circles. In this work, I actively rewire both of your brains so your relationship can be calm, passionate and intimate. What’s new in my couples work is that I rewire your brains to have the rights to a better, more loving relationship before I give new skills. That way, the skills stay without relapsing. If you keep going back to old ways, it’s time to work on love in a new way.

The other distinct thing about my couples work is that I am constantly working for the We. My real client in any couple is the energetic, intimate bond between them, i.e. the We. Without a strong We, there’s always a ‘war.’ My job is to create more ‘rights of the We’ in couples. As one husband shared, “We’ve been to several therapists. Yet none gave us the ability to become a We. Your approach was totally different and marriage saving.” If you want intimacy and trust, strengthen the WE.

There’s a sense that nothing ever seems to work. You both seem stuck in dueling patterns that neither of you can change. The 50% divorce rate scares you. That is, when you aren’t afraid of staying in an unhealthy relationship. You’re weary of having a disappointed, upset partner beside you at night. Deep down you know love was meant to be more than this. Some part of you just wants to give and receive the love you both deserve and once dreamed about.

To get beyond the stalemate or conflict, you will need a guide to help you uncover what’s really undermining your relationship. My transformational work is different from traditional couple therapy. It’s a deep dive beyond the usual telling of partner stories that happens in a lot of therapeutic circles. In this work, I actively rewire both of your brains so your relationship can be calm, passionate and intimate. What’s new in my couples work is that I rewire your brains to have the rights to a better, more loving relationship before I give new skills. That way, the skills stay without relapsing. If you keep going back to old ways, it’s time to work on love in a new way.

The other distinct thing about my couples work is that I am constantly working for the We. My real client in any couple is the energetic, intimate bond between them, i.e. the We. Without a strong We, there’s always a ‘war.’ My job is to create more ‘rights of the We’ in couples. As one husband shared, “We’ve been to several therapists. Yet none gave us the ability to become a We. Your approach was totally different and marriage saving.” If you want intimacy and trust, strengthen the WE.

By blending my new theory of attachment with a very deep form of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Bert Hellinger’s Family Systems work and neuroscience, I help couples rewrite the rules of love in their brains so they can stop the dueling patterns and begin to truly love each other. While I’ve completed many levels of training in the Gottman Method, Relational Life Therapy, Collaborative Therapy and others, my work remains distinct. I only add research proven couple skills after deep brain work has given both partners the rights to a better experience with each other. After all, I’m a transformational love coach and not a therapist. When a couple becomes safe to love in a different way, the relationship changes for good. Love becomes lasting.

By blending my new theory of attachment with a very deep form of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Bert Hellinger’s Family Systems work and neuroscience, I help couples rewrite the rules of love in their brains so they can stop the dueling patterns and begin to truly love each other. While I’ve completed many levels of training in the Gottman Method, Relational Life Therapy, Collaborative Therapy and others, my work remains distinct. I only add research proven couple skills after deep brain work has given both partners the rights to a better experience with each other. After all, I’m a transformational love coach and not a therapist. When a couple becomes safe to love in a different way, the relationship changes for good. Love becomes lasting.

Schedule
Schedule

Go Beyond the ‘War’ to a We

A huge result is couples stop making themselves wrong. Your brains are simply giving each other old forms of relationship survival, which at one time was the best deal available. Nobody is wrong here. Most conflicts are actually limited rights for love at war. So we just want to update your love rights. As you both reclaim rights to create a better experience with love, you will naturally stop rehearsing the same painful patterns. Then you can enjoy the secure, lasting bond you both deserve.

Finally, experience tells me to start by giving love a chance. However, not every relationship or marriage can be saved. In that case, I can help you depart on loving terms so your hearts remain open for love in the future. There’s no need to go through life feeling like broken goods or as if you lost your best chance for love.

Schedule
Schedule

Deep Work Equals Lasting Love

Here’s what working with me can do for a couple:

Rekindle the love and passion you once had as a couple

 

Figure out what’s really missing in your relationship so love feels good again

 

Heal from past relationship wounds with each other (or from others)

 

Create peace by rewiring what’s truly underneath the conflicts or distancing

 

Drop the grievances you have with each other and restore the connection

 

Experience intimacy and trust like you’ve never felt them before

 

Discover the power to create an intentional partnership

 

Use the relationship skills of the masters, proven by research to work

 

Navigate parenting issues and be a better mom or dad with your children

 
Schedule
Schedule

Testimonials

“Gary has a gift to heal the hurts and grow your love. Love is so much better when you can listen, understand and cherish each other. We now have a love for life!” – Paul and Rochelle “With 20 years of marriage behind us, we’ve had some ‘baggage.’ Dr. Gary is walking us on a path to our best relationship. He is calm, consistent and holds us both accountable for the best relationship we can form together. Dr. Gary is skilled at working with us as individuals and as the couple we are and want to become.” – Holly and Greg “Dr. Gary was quick to get to the root of our misunderstandings, and was able to get us to see them clearly, without fault and blame but with compassion and love. Inevitably we left each session one step closer to the creation of the WE that we both desired.” – Alexandra and Mark

Testimonials

“Gary has a gift to heal the hurts and grow your love. Love is so much better when you can listen, understand and cherish each other. We now have a love for life!” – Paul and Rochelle

Testimonials

“With 20 years of marriage behind us, we’ve had some ‘baggage.’ Dr. Gary is walking us on a path to our best relationship. He is calm, consistent and holds us both accountable for the best relationship we can form together. Dr. Gary is skilled at working with us as individuals and as the couple we are and want to become.” – Holly and Greg

Testimonials

“Dr. Gary was quick to get to the root of our misunderstandings, and was able to get us to see them clearly, without fault and blame but with compassion and love. Inevitably we left each session one step closer to the creation of the WE that we both desired.” – Alexandra and Mark

Be Inspired to Love

Have ever wondered why your ‘picker’ or some ‘part’ of you sabotages your relationships? If you want to learn your brain’s ‘rules for love’, then click here.

Dr. Gary Salyer

    

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