About Dr. Gary Salyer

The Study Of Love

Solving the Puzzle of Love

It’s no accident that my life’s calling is to help people love better and easier. My entire life has been about solving the puzzle that love can sometimes be.

Even as a child, I would peer out at my world and wonder why so many people were miserable and didn’t feel loved. I was constantly asking why my aunts and uncles drank so much to drown out their misery. Many a night passed with me pondering why love was so hard for so many people. It just didn’t make sense why loving had to be so hard. At seven, love seemed like a puzzle without all the pieces. Maybe love seems that way for you too?

I’m going to surmise, if you are reading this, that you’ve been searching for those missing pieces to love’s puzzle as well. So thank you for being a kindred spirit on this path called love and life.

I eventually came to learn that my life’s purpose is to ‘change a generation’s fate with love.’ It took a while for me to figure that out, however. As an undergraduate, I pursued degrees in Psychology as well as Marriage and Family Relations to make sure I found those missing pieces to love’s puzzle. So imagine how frustrated I was when divorce came knocking on my door not once, but twice. All those degrees and studying didn’t solve the puzzle in my heart. What a disappointment.

That’s when my life’s greatest pain turned into a calling.  After my second divorce, I was determined to find those lost pieces and solve the puzzle for everyone.Now, twelve years later I call those missing pieces, “Safe to Love Again.”  Everyone one of those pieces is now a part of my book and my one-on-one practice.  Nothing makes me more excited than watching a single person figure out the puzzle for finding their soulmate, or a couple discovering the missing piece that once kept them worlds apart.

So, you may be asking, “What were some of those missing pieces for you, Gary?”  Glad you asked!  I found those missing pieces in a unique blend of Attachment Theory, neuroscience, Bert Hellinger’s Family Systems Theory and couple’s research.  The insights that came from all that research became the heart and soul of my new approach to creating lasting love.

Solving the Puzzle of Love

It’s no accident that my life’s calling is to help people love better and easier. My entire life has been about solving the puzzle that love can sometimes be.

Even as a child, I would peer out at my world and wonder why so many people were miserable and didn’t feel loved. I was constantly asking why my aunts and uncles drank so much to drown out their misery. Many a night passed with me pondering why love was so hard for so many people. It just didn’t make sense why loving had to be so hard. At seven, love seemed like a puzzle without all the pieces. Maybe love seems that way for you too?

I’m going to surmise, if you are reading this, that you’ve been searching for those missing pieces to love’s puzzle as well. So thank you for being a kindred spirit on this path called love and life.

I eventually came to learn that my life’s purpose is to ‘change a generation’s fate with love.’ It took a while for me to figure that out, however. As an undergraduate, I pursued degrees in Psychology as well as Marriage and Family Relations to make sure I found those missing pieces to love’s puzzle. So imagine how frustrated I was when divorce came knocking on my door not once, but twice. All those degrees and studying didn’t solve the puzzle in my heart. What a disappointment.

That’s when my life’s greatest pain turned into a calling.  After my second divorce, I was determined to find those lost pieces and solve the puzzle for everyone.Now, twelve years later I call those missing pieces, “Safe to Love Again.”  Everyone one of those pieces is now a part of my book and my one-on-one practice.  Nothing makes me more excited than watching a single person figure out the puzzle for finding their soulmate, or a couple discovering the missing piece that once kept them worlds apart.

So, you may be asking, “What were some of those missing pieces for you, Gary?”  Glad you asked!  I found those missing pieces in a unique blend of Attachment Theory, neuroscience, Bert Hellinger’s Family Systems Theory and couple’s research.  The insights that came from all that research became the heart and soul of my new approach to creating lasting love.

A New Approach to Love

But it wasn’t just research that created my new approach. Watching my clients figure out their missing pieces to become ‘securely attached’ also guided me. Helping people discover their untapped abilities to love better is my greatest professional joy. I mean, is there anything better than watching singles give up their fears and hurts to find their soulmate? Or helping a couple stave off a needless divorce and fall in love with each other more than they ever imagined? Some days, I can’t believe I get to do what I am doing.

Bringing inspiration as a speaker is my other great passion in life.  Seeing an audience rediscover their motivation to give love one more try is about the best thing in the world, right along with a good rib eye steak or a fun evening of karaoke.  I’m also an avid Marvel Super Heroes movie geek and I own the entire collection!  What’s not to admire about Steve Rogers’ (Captain America) integrity or Thor’s determination to protect the universe.  I’m a big Wonder Woman fan too!  She’s such a combination of love and courage.

I’m also down for anything Star Trek or Star Wars.  I know…but at seven I wanted to be an astronaut!  My favorite romantic movies are The Vow with Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days starring Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey, Avatar, Chocolat, The Notebook and Roxanne.

A New Approach to Love

But it wasn’t just research that created my new approach. Watching my clients figure out their missing pieces to become ‘securely attached’ also guided me. Helping people discover their untapped abilities to love better is my greatest professional joy. I mean, is there anything better than watching singles give up their fears and hurts to find their soulmate? Or helping a couple stave off a needless divorce and fall in love with each other more than they ever imagined? Some days, I can’t believe I get to do what I am doing.

Bringing inspiration as a speaker is my other great passion in life.  Seeing an audience rediscover their motivation to give love one more try is about the best thing in the world, right along with a good rib eye steak or a fun evening of karaoke.  I’m also an avid Marvel Super Heroes movie geek and I own the entire collection!  What’s not to admire about Steve Rogers’ (Captain America) integrity or Thor’s determination to protect the universe.  I’m a big Wonder Woman fan too!  She’s such a combination of love and courage.

I’m also down for anything Star Trek or Star Wars.  I know…but at seven I wanted to be an astronaut!  My favorite romantic movies are The Vow with Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days starring Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey, Avatar, Chocolat, The Notebook and Roxanne.

Son's wedding

A Legacy of Love

Finally, knowing that I passed down a secure love style to my son Kenny and watching him create a fabulous relationship with his wife Jayne is, without a doubt, my life’s greatest accomplishment.  Knowing that I have finally changed the generations in my own family lineage is everything I set out to do in life, really.  Now, I get to empower others to do the same.  Can life get any better than this?  Stay tuned because I think it can!  Woo Hoo for love!

Three Truths I Live By

  • There are no unresourceful people, only un-resourceful states of being.
  • Love is a simple, attuned experience that’s won or lost in a thousand micro-moments.
  • Asking “How did I create that experience?” is way better than whining or resenting life.

A Legacy of Love

Finally, knowing that I passed down a secure love style to my son Kenny and watching him create a fabulous relationship with his wife Jayne is, without a doubt, my life’s greatest accomplishment.  Knowing that I have finally changed the generations in my own family lineage is everything I set out to do in life, really.  Now, I get to empower others to do the same.  Can life get any better than this?  Stay tuned because I think it can!  Woo Hoo for love!

Three Truths I Live By

  • There are no unresourceful people, only un-resourceful states of being.
  • Love is a simple, attuned experience that’s won or lost in a thousand micro-moments.
  • Asking “How did I create that experience?” is way better than whining or resenting life.

Testimonials

“Gary has a gift to heal the hurts and grow your love. Love is so much better when you can listen, understand and cherish each other. We now have a love for life!”
- Paul and Rochelle
“A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a safe, secure and lasting relationship. If you have ever lost hope for love, this is the book to read.” - Dr. John Gray, bestselling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus ”I can feel such a difference in my nervous system since doing this deep work with Gary. It feels like someone switched my nervous system off survival mode and I’m in alignment with reality when it comes to love and romantic relationships. Wow! This is freedom.” - Stephanie
“I couldn’t stop reading this book! This book blows other self help books out of the water. It’s amazing the clarity this book has given me and how it has pointed me in a totally different direction for finding love.”
- Josh, Police Officer
“Gary’s as eloquent, passionate, informative, empowering, self-aware, funny, entertaining, and insightful as anyone we've ever had on our stage. He understands what makes men tick, what women want, and what we all really need on our journey to find love and happiness.” - Brian Howie, Executive Producer of The Great Love Debate “The work I have done with Gary has been a life savior. He helped me rise out of my ashes after a painful divorce. Compared to counseling, this work is focused. It adjusted my inner workings so I could see immediate results. The fruits of his work showed up in my life usually within a couple of weeks of each session.”- Rachel

Testimonials

“Gary has a gift to heal the hurts and grow your love. Love is so much better when you can listen, understand and cherish each other. We now have a love for life!” - Paul and Rochelle

Testimonials

“A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a safe, secure and lasting relationship. If you have ever lost hope for love, this is the book to read.” - Dr. John Gray, bestselling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

Testimonials

”I can feel such a difference in my nervous system since doing this deep work with Gary. It feels like someone switched my nervous system off survival mode and I’m in alignment with reality when it comes to love and romantic relationships. Wow! This is freedom.” - Stephanie

Testimonials

“I couldn’t stop reading this book! This book blows other self help books out of the water. It’s amazing the clarity this book has given me and how it has pointed me in a totally different direction for finding love.” - Josh, Police Officer

Testimonials

“Gary’s as eloquent, passionate, informative, empowering, self-aware,
funny, entertaining, and insightful as anyone we've ever had on our stage. He understands what makes men tick, what women want, and what we all really need on our journey to find love and happiness.” - Brian Howie, Executive Producer of The Great Love Debate

Testimonials

“The work I have done with Gary has been a life savior. He helped me rise out of my ashes after a painful divorce. Compared to counseling, this work is focused. It adjusted my inner workings so I could see immediate results. The fruits of his work showed up in my life usually within a couple of weeks of each session.” - Rachel

Be Inspired to Love

Have ever wondered why your ‘picker’ or some ‘part’ of you sabotages your relationships? If you want to learn your brain’s ‘rules for love’, then click here.

Dr. Gary Salyer

    

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