‘Singing in the Rain’ with Your Partner

‘Singing in the Rain’ with Your Partner


So often, Dianne and I hear singles complain that they want to get out of the ‘friends game.’ And, we get that. We do. That being said, the irony is that the science of couple relationships knows that 70% of marital satisfaction for both men and women is based on the quality of the friendship they enjoy with each other. (Yes, on this issue both men and women are in complete agreement!) When a man is truly his partner’s best friend, her eyes just naturally light up. If you are a man, listen in to a woman’s conversation with her best friend and you will witness the profound craving that all women have for deep connection. On the other hand, when a woman is her partner’s best friend, he will be devoted to her forever. Ever since cave man days, men have hungered for someone to trust who will have their back. In return for this, men will offer their deepest commitment. Now what woman doesn’t want that?

Knowing the details about each other has a name for it. This deep knowing is called ‘love maps.’ As it turns out, these maps are the basis for the friendship that creates deep passion. Popular thought has it that being ‘friends’ and being ‘passionate’ are a bit at odds for each other. This is not quite right. The research shows us that the exact opposite is true. The key to being dream mates for each other is to really know the details about each other. When we don’t know those details that’s when ‘hurt’ settles into a relationship. Then we get into patterns to avoid those relationship wounds. Eventually, we get into defensive ruts that destroy the passion, joy, romance, sensuality and so much more.

But there is good news for couples! Just as there is a way we get into such ruts, we can also let go of ingrained, painful patterns. There is a way to begin ‘singing in the rain’ as we call it. The resources for recovering a great relationship are always there in both our minds as well as our bodies. If you want to learn how to release your past relationship pain, give up your grievances and stop feeling like a victim so you can have a thriving love that brings you joy, romance passion and much more, then you will certainly want to listen to our TV show interview with Dr. Cheryl below.

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