The Four Feelings of a Secure Relationship

The Four Feelings of a Secure Relationship

 

I’ve heard a lot of definitions for what a ‘great relationship’ is. From the guy or gal on the street to the expert with 12 New Your Times best sellers, you hear words like hot, passionate, intimate, close, romantic, and so the list goes on. Now, here’s the truth. The part of your brain that does relationships doesn’t think at all in these terms! That part of your brain uses four feelings as its East, West, North and South to know where it is in a relationship and whether it feels safely loved. The real GPS you can use to tell if you are securely loved uses just four feelings as its emotional compass! What are those feelings you ask? When we feel welcomed with joy, worthy of our needs and nourished, cherished and protected as well as empowered with choice, then we feel deeply loved. If you take away any of those baseline feelings, some part of you will inevitably begin feeling either anxious or avoidant. See, love really isn’t as complicated as it seems!

So throw out your ‘list’ for finding a dream man or woman. That’s nice, but [Read more…]

What’s My Love Style?

What’s My Love Style?

There seems to be a national epidemic of people who are scared of love in our country. The science of how people get wired for love knows that there are three different love styles that people acquire early in life. Which one of these sounds like you?

  • I find it easy to get close to others. Depending on them is expected and natural. I can depend on them and they can depend on me.
  • I get a little uncomfortable when people get too close or depend on me. I often need to have my ‘distance’ in my relationships. I worry that my partners will ask too much of me in a relationship.
  • I often feel that my partner does not want to be as close to me as I would like. Secretly, I am always worrying that they will leave me. Sometimes my very desire for closeness drives away people who love me.

[Read more…]

‘Singing in the Rain’ with Your Partner

‘Singing in the Rain’ with Your Partner

 

So often, Dianne and I hear singles complain that they want to get out of the ‘friends game.’ And, we get that. We do. That being said, the irony is that the science of couple relationships knows that 70% of marital satisfaction for both men and women is based on the quality of the friendship they enjoy with each other. (Yes, on this issue both men and women are in complete agreement!) When a man is truly his partner’s best friend, her eyes just naturally light up. If you are a man, [Read more…]

How to Create Lasting Love

How to Create Lasting Love

(Without Feeling Tied Down or Constantly Worried It Might Go Away)

How can couples create better relationships? Let’s face it, maintaining a passionate relationship that resonates with joy isn’t as easy as it looks in all those romantic movies. One of the secrets to making any relationship better is to ‘lean into’ your partner more and more. We must listen closely to our partner and their needs for them to feel securely loved. The problems come when we get stuck in patterns where we listen more to our ‘inner drama’ than our partner. When we listen more to our inner voices than what our partner is saying, we cease truly seeing or hearing them.   This is a game where [Read more…]

Discover How to Build Healthy, Emotionally Close & Passionate Relationships

Discover how to build healthy, emotionally close, and passionate relationships in your life.

 

Join Rebecca Hall Gruyter as she interviews Dr. Gary Salyer, and Dr. Dianne Frost. In this interview they share their wisdom, insights and practical tips to support you in building healthy, emotionally close, and passionate relationships in your life. We want you to have and build love that lasts a lifetime.

Discover how to become an extraordinary couple.