Why did I create
The Safe to Love Again™ Workshops?

 

These days, I am more aligned with love than I have ever been.  I have attracted the best woman of my life.  I am more present in my relationships with Dianne than ever.  I have no fear of committing, and things are the best they have ever been in terms of quality of our relationship.  We are both manifesting with passion and joy.  And yet, it was not always so.

I created the Safe to Love Again™ Workshop because I know the pain of love’s paradise lost.  Watching my first marriage slowly wither and die was one of the most painful things I ever endured.  It was brutal.  In the aftermath, I attended many seminars to ‘fix’ whatever went wrong.  So, imagine my surprise when I had to tell my teenage son that his father was going to be twice divorced after having remarried.  That talk with my then 17 year old son was one of the most embarrassing conversations of my life.  It was painful.  It was humbling.  But most of all, it was incomprehensible to me.  I kept asking, How did this happen?

After that, I began to notice an unmistakable pattern.  Simply put, I was now avoiding commitments.  I was not like the man I had been in either of my marriages where I was very committed.  It was like some other man would show up periodically to just derail any promising relationship.

The second part of the pattern was almost as bad.  If I wasn’t doing that, I would somehow and quite ‘mysteriously’ pick a person who would never commit to me.  The signs would all be there but boy would I try and try and try until it got ‘hopeless.’

This alternating pattern of Mr. Wrong followed by Mr. Wrong Picker was the tell tale signature that some part of me was really not safe with love.  Some part of me was very busy mounting rescue operation after rescue operation, also known as sabotage.  It sucked.  Still worse, it hurt both me and those I loved.  Does any of this sound familiar to you?

Working with coaches who were successfully married didn’t work either.  Their advice was sound.  Yet, because they had never really walked in my shoes, they simply did not understand that advice and better skill sets alone would simply not do the trick for people like me.  For a time, I felt like giving up.

Then I stumbled upon NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and family soul work.  I learned the difference between coaching and change work.  Simply put, I did the deep work.  I learned how to help my brain find safety in ways that would support what I wanted.  The moment I found appreciation for the sabotaging part of me was like an epiphany. It changed everything.

Now, I’ve recovered my own secure style of loving.  In relationship circles, we call that an earned secure attachment style.  I can commit again.  I am free to find and keep the love I deserve.  I am no longer dating Ms. Wrong.  Knowing that feels wonderful.

Out of that journey came a calling for the second half of my life.  Eventually, I applied my own soul’s lessons to all of this and created my own Safe to Love Again™ Workshop.

No one should wander for 25 years through such painful relationship thickets. Love need not be such a briar patch for any of us.

I found my way back to being safe with love.  You can too.

That’s my mission and that’s my passion.

It’s why I do this incredible work.

 

 

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